Saturday, October 22, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Not as planned...
Well since this blog didn't work out for the purpose I wanted or really cared about im going to make it my own. No more expressing my feelings through words but just having fun and being me. Thats what I always should of stuck to because thats where I always fall back to. So heres something just for fun!
A - Age: Nineteen
B - Bed size: Queen
C - Chore you hate: ALL OF THEM!
D - Dog's name: Charlie, Delilah, Buck, Bear, and Max
E - Essential start your day item: Toothbrush/Scar cream
F - Favorite color: Gold, Turquoise, and Yellow
G - Gold or Silver: Gold
H - Height: 5'6
I - Instruments you play: absolutely nothing but I would love to learn how to play the Ukelele :)
J - Job title: Team Member at CFA, Student worker at the Qualifying Center, and Full time student
K - Kid(s): None :)
L - Living arrangements: In a dorm with my 3 best friends
M-Mother's name: Seanna Deann Hunter
N - Nicknames: Mel, Em, Emmers, Amelia
O - Overcoming: Insecurity
P- Pet Peeves: When people dont respond back to texts or when my friends call me telling me something i dont want to hear about the love of my life
Q - Quote from a movie: "is butter a carb?"
R - Right or left handed: Right handed
S - Siblings: 2 older sisters, 2 younger sisters, and a younger brother
T - Time you wake up: I sleep till whenever I want :)
U- Underwear: Underwear are a daily necessity
V- Vegetable you don't like: I like them all :)
W - Ways you run late: I'm usually on time, but if I'm late I probably kept changing my outfit
X - X-rays you've had: skull, mouth, and arm
Y - Yummy food you make: easy mac :)
Z - Zoo favorite: panda and giraffe
A - Age: Nineteen
B - Bed size: Queen
C - Chore you hate: ALL OF THEM!
D - Dog's name: Charlie, Delilah, Buck, Bear, and Max
E - Essential start your day item: Toothbrush/Scar cream
F - Favorite color: Gold, Turquoise, and Yellow
G - Gold or Silver: Gold
H - Height: 5'6
I - Instruments you play: absolutely nothing but I would love to learn how to play the Ukelele :)
J - Job title: Team Member at CFA, Student worker at the Qualifying Center, and Full time student
K - Kid(s): None :)
L - Living arrangements: In a dorm with my 3 best friends
M-Mother's name: Seanna Deann Hunter
N - Nicknames: Mel, Em, Emmers, Amelia
O - Overcoming: Insecurity
P- Pet Peeves: When people dont respond back to texts or when my friends call me telling me something i dont want to hear about the love of my life
Q - Quote from a movie: "is butter a carb?"
R - Right or left handed: Right handed
S - Siblings: 2 older sisters, 2 younger sisters, and a younger brother
T - Time you wake up: I sleep till whenever I want :)
U- Underwear: Underwear are a daily necessity
V- Vegetable you don't like: I like them all :)
W - Ways you run late: I'm usually on time, but if I'm late I probably kept changing my outfit
X - X-rays you've had: skull, mouth, and arm
Y - Yummy food you make: easy mac :)
Z - Zoo favorite: panda and giraffe
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The New ME
Finally Back to normal! Even though it has only been a few days and my face has healed really fast I felt like it was the longest week of my life! Every trip to the ER, Doctor, or Dentist was just a painful experience! I am so blessed to be feeling about 100% better and im pretty happy the way things turned out!I was able to spend a week in paradise with my family and friends :)
Monday, October 10, 2011
Longboard Tricks!
Well this is me looking like Shrek before I left for California. I was in so much pain and even worse now. Keep me in your prayers!!!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
...
Looks like everything is getting thrown back in my face, whats done is done and I cant change the past. Im sorry for the hurt and pain but all I can do is work on myself for the present and the future. Im at peace knowing the Lord forgives and keeps no record of wrong. Lord please bless me today and calm my nerves for this interview. You bless me everyday with things I dont even deserve. Thank you for the sun and beautiful weather. Thank you for surrounding me with your glory. I LOVE you Lord! Keep me close to you.
xoxo,
Mel
xoxo,
Mel
Monday, October 3, 2011
All things work together for our good.
Well there we go. I messed up. I can admit it. I know I didn’t do anything right in the relationship with Chad. My way of showing love to him wasn’t good enough, and he doesn’t understand all that I did for him too. It sucks but its something I have to live with. I thought I knew in my heart that we were supposed to be together but now I know what we really are. I know that if you have to second-guess love than its not meant to be.
God has created someone so perfect for us out there that you cant live without him or her, when they leave you will do anything to get them back, you don’t have to think twice about it. The Lord has prepared someone so great for both of us. It sucks we missed our chances with each other but all the pain and hardships will soon be gone. They will soon disappear from our heart; because the Lord is preparing us individually for that one person he has created us to spend the rest of our lives with. Someone who is so strong in the Lord and when they let you down you know everything is going to be ok and you both will grow from it. You both will be so strong and your love will grow tremendously.
I don’t know the plans the Lord has for me but I know they are plans to make me strong. I don’t know if he has someone for me to be with or if I’m going to be on my own. Either way I’m fine with, because I know I’m living for the Lord and not for myself.
Just to clear things up, I didn’t drink at the parties I went to, and I haven’t been flirting with other guys. As much as I wanted to, to get over Chad, I just couldn’t do it this time. I couldn’t handle bringing myself to get to that point again. I’ve only been in love once and seeing how good it is with that one person makes me not want to even talk to anyone else. Yeah I did accept all three of those friend requests and I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal but apparently it was. I thought we were supposed to be forgiving and love like the Lord has loved us. I have done nothing wrong with those three boys since Chad and I have broken up. I haven’t talked to them but they have been in my prayers because I know none of them are following the Lord. I want to be a light. I have been told by many people that Chad has been out and flirting with other girls at parties and or bars but I know better. I know he would never do that to me. I know he is better than those sleazy worldly girls. I’m not going to let it get to me anymore because its his choices, I have no control over what he does, all I can do is pray that he makes good decisions and is glorifying the Lord. I pray the Lord gives him peace about the situation and just gets over me as quickly as possible. I know it’s the best for him.
I wanted to get back together with him so bad but I know its not good for him. He deserves so much better. A godly woman that will strengthen him, someone who shows love the same way he does, a girl that his family will adore, and someone who will always be there with him. Apparently I wasn’t able to give him any of that and I regret it but I know in my heart he will be blessed with the woman of his dreams. The most beautiful and amazing woman, someone he can grow old with and can have so many great memories with. Someone who can rebuke him and tell him when he’s wrong. Someone who can spit out Bible verses nonstop to help any situation. He deserves the best.
The more and more I think about him the more and more depressed I get about losing someone so special but all things work together for our good. The Lord is so good to me and I want to be filled with his love. I want to sadness to turn into joy and praise. I want to give it all back to God. I want to be thankful for every situation for I know it all happens for a reason.
In Chapel today we learned that there is a reason for everything. Right now its all a blur I’m not quite sure why everything goes the way it does but in the future I will be able to look back on the situation and see how amazing God is and how he was looking out for both Chad and I.
I am so thankful that the Lord is using this situation for me to look for him and be so thirsty for his love instead of me being bitter towards him. Its so cool feeling his presence and knowing he will never fail me. No matter how many hurtful things are said or done to me I can still find Joy in the Lord for his love is everlasting and will never fail.
This week has been so hard for me and so many struggles have occurred with Chad, Friends, and family. Not that it matters to anyone but I was so bitter that I couldn’t talk to anyone because no one understands and I was craving therapy. I was craving wisdom and advice, but when I was home all day yesterday by myself I saw how much of a wreck I was, I saw how much I needed the Lord. I ran to him and he had open arms. Its so cool to see how EVERYBODY failed me yesterday but GOD! He is the reason I am here now. He makes me so happy and I rejoice to his name.
Xoxo
Mel
God has created someone so perfect for us out there that you cant live without him or her, when they leave you will do anything to get them back, you don’t have to think twice about it. The Lord has prepared someone so great for both of us. It sucks we missed our chances with each other but all the pain and hardships will soon be gone. They will soon disappear from our heart; because the Lord is preparing us individually for that one person he has created us to spend the rest of our lives with. Someone who is so strong in the Lord and when they let you down you know everything is going to be ok and you both will grow from it. You both will be so strong and your love will grow tremendously.
I don’t know the plans the Lord has for me but I know they are plans to make me strong. I don’t know if he has someone for me to be with or if I’m going to be on my own. Either way I’m fine with, because I know I’m living for the Lord and not for myself.
Just to clear things up, I didn’t drink at the parties I went to, and I haven’t been flirting with other guys. As much as I wanted to, to get over Chad, I just couldn’t do it this time. I couldn’t handle bringing myself to get to that point again. I’ve only been in love once and seeing how good it is with that one person makes me not want to even talk to anyone else. Yeah I did accept all three of those friend requests and I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal but apparently it was. I thought we were supposed to be forgiving and love like the Lord has loved us. I have done nothing wrong with those three boys since Chad and I have broken up. I haven’t talked to them but they have been in my prayers because I know none of them are following the Lord. I want to be a light. I have been told by many people that Chad has been out and flirting with other girls at parties and or bars but I know better. I know he would never do that to me. I know he is better than those sleazy worldly girls. I’m not going to let it get to me anymore because its his choices, I have no control over what he does, all I can do is pray that he makes good decisions and is glorifying the Lord. I pray the Lord gives him peace about the situation and just gets over me as quickly as possible. I know it’s the best for him.
I wanted to get back together with him so bad but I know its not good for him. He deserves so much better. A godly woman that will strengthen him, someone who shows love the same way he does, a girl that his family will adore, and someone who will always be there with him. Apparently I wasn’t able to give him any of that and I regret it but I know in my heart he will be blessed with the woman of his dreams. The most beautiful and amazing woman, someone he can grow old with and can have so many great memories with. Someone who can rebuke him and tell him when he’s wrong. Someone who can spit out Bible verses nonstop to help any situation. He deserves the best.
The more and more I think about him the more and more depressed I get about losing someone so special but all things work together for our good. The Lord is so good to me and I want to be filled with his love. I want to sadness to turn into joy and praise. I want to give it all back to God. I want to be thankful for every situation for I know it all happens for a reason.
In Chapel today we learned that there is a reason for everything. Right now its all a blur I’m not quite sure why everything goes the way it does but in the future I will be able to look back on the situation and see how amazing God is and how he was looking out for both Chad and I.
I am so thankful that the Lord is using this situation for me to look for him and be so thirsty for his love instead of me being bitter towards him. Its so cool feeling his presence and knowing he will never fail me. No matter how many hurtful things are said or done to me I can still find Joy in the Lord for his love is everlasting and will never fail.
This week has been so hard for me and so many struggles have occurred with Chad, Friends, and family. Not that it matters to anyone but I was so bitter that I couldn’t talk to anyone because no one understands and I was craving therapy. I was craving wisdom and advice, but when I was home all day yesterday by myself I saw how much of a wreck I was, I saw how much I needed the Lord. I ran to him and he had open arms. Its so cool to see how EVERYBODY failed me yesterday but GOD! He is the reason I am here now. He makes me so happy and I rejoice to his name.
Xoxo
Mel
Why? This ones for you.
I thought you loved me I thought you cared. Its funny how people can trick you into being someone they aren’t. It really seems to amaze me how much people will lie and continue to hurt you. I’m so heart broken and I’ve never been like this over a boy, except for my dad. I would never let myself get to this point for a reason because I saw what it did to my mom. I’m stronger than this. I should have known. I should have listened to my heart and not let my guard down. What was I thinking? I wasn’t. I’m so tired of being hurt by people and guys. I’m tired of being depressed. Lord please help me get out of this stage and help me heal my heart. I cant help but think of how much I love and care for him. I don’t know why all of our little memories and jokes stay in my head. I try so hard to get them out, I try to hard to forget about him. Why cant I? Why do I love someone who is hurting me so bad? WHY?? Why are we both so imperfect and broken? Why cant I find love on this earth that is so passionate and flawless? Why did I have to see all the wrong signs? Why did I think he was the one for me? Why is my heart shattered? Why did I let him into my heart? WHY?? All I can ask is why, but at the end of the day is he I still my last thought, he I still in my mind, and in my heart. He is still my everything. I love him so much and because of my mistakes I have to pay the price. We all reap what we sow, and I’m experiencing that big time right now. I don’t know why all this is happening to me yet but I do know that the Lord will make me stronger from it. I know he will bless both Chad, and me maybe not together but most certainly separate. I know that Chad was placed in my life for a reason. I know he genuinely did love and care for me even though that’s all gone now. I hate that I’m still holding on to my feelings for him. He still has such a big part of my heart and he’s the only guy I truly care about. I know that I had a hard time showing it and I wasn’t close to being a good girlfriend. He deserves so much more but that’s were I get confused. Why was I blessed with a guy that that is way out of my league? Why was I blessed with someone who actually cared about me? I’ve never had that before and I definitely don’t deserve it. How am I supposed to heal from this? How am I going to ever date another guy again when I was given the best and lost it?
Lord heal me, do work in my heart. Make me become more like you. I want to love others like you love me. I want you to be the keeper of my heart. Please just keep working on me and keeping me close to you. Help me focus on school. Please protect my enemies and give me the strength to love on them. Keep me surrounded with people who are so madly in live with you. Please turn any focus I have on Chad right back around to you. I want to open my heart to you and let you in. I want to be so on fire for you other people are scared to be around it. I know I fail you so much Lord and I’m sorry for that. I know that I break your heart everyday and I can’t even experience what that’s like. What I’m feeling is nothing near what you feel like. Lord you are my ultimate Dad, boyfriend, and best friend. You will never fail me. Even though I fail you every day. Please do work on me and protect Chad every day, minute, and second. I pray that you keep him close to you and not let the enemy attack. I know that the has falling big time but help him get back up and run into Your arms. Please bless him with the girl of his dreams, someone who will strengthen him and love him just as much as he loves her, because I wasn’t good enough for him. Let him be surrounded by your people. I love you Dad! Keep all of us safe and renew our hearts!
Xoxo,
Mel
Lord heal me, do work in my heart. Make me become more like you. I want to love others like you love me. I want you to be the keeper of my heart. Please just keep working on me and keeping me close to you. Help me focus on school. Please protect my enemies and give me the strength to love on them. Keep me surrounded with people who are so madly in live with you. Please turn any focus I have on Chad right back around to you. I want to open my heart to you and let you in. I want to be so on fire for you other people are scared to be around it. I know I fail you so much Lord and I’m sorry for that. I know that I break your heart everyday and I can’t even experience what that’s like. What I’m feeling is nothing near what you feel like. Lord you are my ultimate Dad, boyfriend, and best friend. You will never fail me. Even though I fail you every day. Please do work on me and protect Chad every day, minute, and second. I pray that you keep him close to you and not let the enemy attack. I know that the has falling big time but help him get back up and run into Your arms. Please bless him with the girl of his dreams, someone who will strengthen him and love him just as much as he loves her, because I wasn’t good enough for him. Let him be surrounded by your people. I love you Dad! Keep all of us safe and renew our hearts!
Xoxo,
Mel
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